Signs from the universe

This post is not really about tea or laughter, but I need to write it down and get it out there.

I just found out I didn't get a job I really wanted, and I think I need to question whether the universe is sending me signs to open my tea shop. My friends say yes--that I need to either raise the money now, or figure out how to go to pastry chef school and then raise the money--but I'm still not sure.

Maybe I'm just scared--scared to try it and fail, and then have to try to get back into corporate America in a few years with an even bigger gap on my resume. Scared that it won't really be what I wanted in the first place. Scared that it will make me happy but I won't be able to make enough money to make a go of it.

I know that when I think or talk about tea and baking, I get very excited and animated, and feel happy & like I know what I'm talking about. But is that enough to translate into being able to run a business? Would I be able to share my enthusiasm with my customers, and make them feel happy and comfortable when they visit my shop, or will I get so worn down with work & worry that I won't have the energy to be hospitable to anyone?

I know I need to finish my business plan and assemble a team to help me with the things I'm not good at and should delegate. I know I need to get serious about figuring out financing. I know this is a good time to be shopping for commercial real estate. I know all of these things, and yet I hesitate.

I jumped off a cliff when I quit my job with no job in reserve, and that was a huge step for me. Compared to that, this should be easy. This should be a no-brainer: the job market is insane, I have a great idea for a business that everyone I've talked to has shown interest in, a down economy is the best time to become an entrepreneur...why can't I just do it?

I don't have the answer to that question at the moment, but I'm actively trying to figure it out.

In the mean time, I'm drinking Iron Goddess Dark Roast oolong, and eating a glazed chocolate donut. It's comfort food. But it really doesn't go with oolong.